Bursting with self love!

I have spent the last year of my life consumed with self care. On a quest for happiness, freedom from negative thoughts and love love love for myself and anyone I meet.

So how did I start?

Working out what was wrong? Well the little voice inside my head was so freaking loud! It was a good place to start.

'Are you mad thinking you can work by yourself?'

'Your double chin is getting out of control'

'people will realise you have no idea what you're doing'

'You're so gross for eating all those biscuits'

'you are so lazy for missing that gym class'

Stupid right? Silly I know, but negative thoughts however small they might seem, on a loop all day everyday lead you down a negative spiral into low self worth and anxiety that you are doing life wrong.

So what did I do..

I gave up makeup and nail varnish. I never wore a lot but stripped myself bare. With the thought process that I know these products are used to decorate my beautiful body and not hide it. Once I truly knew this I could use them again when I wanted instead of when society suggested a women should be more dressed up... Yes I have gone to a bar with my naturally curly hair and no makeup. I felt more comfortable then I ever had before. (I haven't gone back to makeup yet, but I love doing my nails again.)

Meditation.. I started off with meditation to observe my thoughts, it made me notice how many negative things were going through my head. One of the biggest shifts in my attitude towards myself happened not surprisingly on a yoga retreat with my inspiring teacher Lisa Cuerdon. We started at 8am by writing a gratitude journal of three things we were grateful for. As I was on my mini journey for self love I made my three things specifically about me.

'I am so grateful to have a body that has never let me down.'

'I am so grateful for my empathy for other people.'

'My impatience is an example of excitement for life.'

This was followed by some guided meditation in which I was told I am perfect, I am unique, I am essential to the universe. I am exactly where I am meant to be. I can learn to surrender into my life and not always fight for constant growth.

When my tiny self had my head filled with all this first thing in the morning before it was able to wake up and start criticising I was overwhelmed with relief and love for knowing that I AM ENOUGH.

You can definitely lose that post retreat glow though, and I did. About a month later back to normal life. Rubbish personal stuff happens and I feel like it is all gone.

This is why ritual, a daily self care routine is so crucial. For me this means a gratitude journal, going outside on walks as much as I can. Indulging myself in meditation and yoga. Unfollowing anyone on social media who don't promote or represent REAL women. Feeding my body proper food but holding no guilt if I want to eat sugar. A choice to love every human with the understanding that I have no idea of their story and holding no expectation for how they need to behave means I won't feel disappointed by their actions.

The outcome,GRATITUDE, GRATITUDE, GRATITUDE. I feel like I am bursting with happiness. I have an overwhelming sense of love that I am able to give so much to other people without feeling depleted. The ability to be more open to find love and find joy in the simplest day. (A walk in the woods and you would think I've been on holiday.) Respect for my body, I listen a little closer and notice when maybe I need a bath, an early night or a cuddle. And the choice, the promise that turned habit, that turned into my new thoughts that are kind and loving and so life changing for me!

All my love

Issy X

#love #meditation #yoga #selfcare #gratitude